Death Pt. 2

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I think about my relationship with my partner now, and it’s absolutely wonderful. I won’t go into the details since I’m not entirely sure how to put it in words. But what comes to mind is, it can’t be this easy, there has to be a catch. And the biggest catch I can think of, is him being taken away from me. 

I’ll admit saying it out loud sounds pretty insane, but the fear is still very real, especially since it can happen at any moment. I’ve tried to imagine how I would handle that situation, how my faith would come into play, how I’d try to move on and what would help me get by the most. This is what I came up with…knowing that I loved him as much as I possibly could, that it was palpable, that he knew exactly how I felt about him, and that I had a positive effect on his life. And I mean this whether his time is tomorrow or 80 years from now. Whether we manage to build a family together or we part ways long before that.

Thinking about this has changed the way I see the relationship. I choose my battles more wisely, I delve into his interests, I accompany him to events even when I’m too tired. I share most if not all my thoughts. Death puts it all into perspective. Every moment is much more precious. 

I’m still terrified, but I’m learning to just enjoy the time we have now, and make sure whichever one of us is left behind, has some great memories to hold onto.

Christians Will Fail You

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“Christians will fail you, religious leaders will fail you, organizations aren’t perfect, put your faith in God.” - Pastor Medina

I thought that was a great point people need to hear. Your decision to be a believer/Atheist/Agnostic should not be based on the followers of a particular faith, not their words, not their actions, not the organization of the place of worship. If you don’t believe in a higher power, God, or organized religion that’s fine. You have every right to live your life the way you see fit, and you shouldn’t be judged for it. Now, if you’re going to say you don’t like a particular religion I hope you made that decision after you read it’s religious text, and looked into it’s history. Not because you bumped into someone who calls them self a Christian, Buddhist etc. and you didn’t like how they were living their life. 

Ideally our actions, the way we carry our selves, should reflect our religion/spirituality, but we’re not perfect, and that’s rarely the case. 

Recently, I left the church I’ve been attending all my life, for a variety of reasons. Some of which I might share with you at another time. I am now attending a different church. My point? The turmoil going on in my first church didn’t deter me from Christianity. I tried my best to make the most out of a bad situation, to give my part and try to improve the environment, and eventually made the very difficult decision to leave my second family and seek out a place that better suited my spiritual needs. 

My decision was based off of what I know Christianity to be, had I based it on my fellow believers at the time, I’d be sleeping in on Sundays, and missing out on some pretty amazing services, and people at my place of worship now.

in

I know that’s what people say— you’ll get over it. I’d say it, too. But I know it’s not true. Oh, youll be happy again, never fear. But you won’t forget. Every time you fall in love it will be because something in the man reminds you of him

Betty Smith, A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (via whylovememylove)
in

I know that’s what people say— you’ll get over it. I’d say it, too. But I know it’s not true. Oh, youll be happy again, never fear. But you won’t forget. Every time you fall in love it will be because something in the man reminds you of him

Betty Smith, A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (via whylovememylove)
in

I know that’s what people say— you’ll get over it. I’d say it, too. But I know it’s not true. Oh, youll be happy again, never fear. But you won’t forget. Every time you fall in love it will be because something in the man reminds you of him

Betty Smith, A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (via whylovememylove)