Latina Point

I think about my relationship with my partner now, and it’s absolutely wonderful. I won’t go into the details since I’m not entirely sure how to put it in words. But what comes to mind is, it can’t be this easy, there has to be a catch. And the biggest catch I can think of, is him being taken away from me.

I’ll admit saying it out loud sounds pretty insane, but the fear is still very real, especially since it can happen at any moment. I’ve tried to imagine how I would handle that situation, how my faith would come into play, how I’d try to move on and what would help me get by the most. This is what I came up with…knowing that I loved him as much as I possibly could, that it was palpable, that he knew exactly how I felt about him, and that I had a positive effect on his life. And I mean this whether his time is tomorrow or 80 years from now. Whether we manage to build a family together or we part ways long before that.

Thinking about this has changed the way I see the relationship. I choose my battles more wisely, I delve into his interests, I accompany him to events even when I’m too tired. I share most if not all my thoughts. Death puts it all into perspective. Every moment is much more precious.

I’m still terrified, but I’m learning to just enjoy the time we have now, and make sure whichever one of us is left behind, has some great memories to hold onto.