Illusions

I’m starting to see things that aren’t there. Starting to want things I know I can’t have because I so badly want to make amends. I want to prove myself, and show that I won’t ever take for granted what has been so lovingly presented to me. I want to even the score and redeem myself because maybe then I’ll stop trying to make excuses and things will fall into place on their own. Maybe then I won’t be left wondering…continuous punishment for my ignorance and naivete.

I want this to be my second chance so bad that I’m making things up as I go and convincing myself they’re reality.