Can't stand it

I truly despise arguing. I know I’ve mentioned this before but, it just hit me. I really don’t like to argue. And quite frankly I think I’m terrified of the idea. I don’t mind having a conversation with someone about our different views on a topic that’s fine. But when it gets to the point where one person is trying to make the other sound silly, as if their argument isn’t even plausible then I get irritated.

I get all uneasy, raise my voice, get anxious and fall deeper into the argument without even realizing it. Once you got me going it’s hard for me to stop because I feel like I’m under attack and need to defend myself.

But what I’m terrified the most of is the argument going on for too long. That’s when I’m likely to start hitting below the belt. I can be incredibly cruel and even cynical when someone just doesn’t let up. I can tolerate quite a lot, but if I see you’re not even trying to not be an asshole then I might just turn on you. Also I’m hardly ever in conflict with people so when I see someone trying to push my buttons I feel like they’re taking advantage of my passivity.

I noticed this today when I kept my mouth shut, swallowed my pride, and just walked away from potential WWIII’s. It eats me up inside but sometimes I rather avoid it altogether then waste my time with people who don’t understand compromise.

Anyways I’m ranting now. So I’ll just end…….here!