There are different ways to say a phrase...

and each one has it’s own meaning.

Everyone has talked to themselves at some point. I don’t think that’s strange at all. They do it for a reason.

Mines is to prepare. I sit in my room and just start talking. Usually mouthing a conversation I’ll have sometime soon. Eventually I’ll look in the mirror (there’s usually one nearby) and I’ll focus on particular details. I’ll get to a phrase that’s vital, that must be mentioned in the upcoming conversation, and must be done right.

When I’ve gotten to that point, I’ll make sure everything I do is perfect at the moment and if it isn’t I’ll repeat it. I might say the phrase over 10 times (literally) until the pitch and the speed are just right. Or I’ll change my facial expression so my eyes do the right thing and my smile is the right smile. I’ll do this over and over until the moment is perfected…for me atleast.

I’m never satisfied if it doesn’t come out right, and I’m not sure why. I’m not OCD and it’s not like I’m an actress that will perform this skit later on. I just like to know what I sound/look like to other people in a particular moment. Unfortunately there hasn’t been one conversation that I’ve practiced that has actually happened in real life. Mainly because I can’t control what the other person says and the direction they take the conversation in. And I usually know that when I’m practicing. I think the reason why I still do it is because it’s character building. These apparently meaningless conversations have made it into my short stories. It also makes you more aware when you’re speaking to people.

You know how you smile when you’re talking to the guy you love. You know how that smile is tweaked when you’re talking to your mother. You know what pitch your voice is in when you’re nervous, lying, happy. I think your overall control of your expressions is enhanced.

I’ll admit it’s a bit odd how much effort I put into this. Yet, it’s entertaining and important to me.

I definitely won’t stop.