WHERE WE'RE UNDERSTOOD, AND CHEERED
i want more men
with flowers falling from their skin
more water in their eyes
more tremble in their hands
more women in their hearts
than
on their bodies
more softness in their height
more honesty in their voice
more wonder
more humility in their feet.
I ask myself the tough questions when no one is listening.
I wonder if things will end like they did the last time. I wonder whether I’ve become the bully in order to avoid being the victim. I wonder whether this is genuine, or I’ve just convinced myself it is. I wonder how long it will be before we crack. Before the truth reveals itself and everything crashes down on us. I wonder if this is it. If this is my version of hell. If in trying to avoid the mistakes of the models before me I’ve created a hell that is the complete opposite, but just as painful.
I wonder how I’ve manged to manipulate my thoughts into thinking everything was all good.
I’m watching the first episode of this new series right now and I feel as though Mary Jane embodies what it means to be a women. At least what I’ve learned being a woman means. Doing it all, being criticized when you complain about it or ask for slack, and continuously being manipulated and guilt into picking up all the slack.
Why are we expected to succeed and provide for those who have made a conscious decision to live off of the government and other people’s success?
It seems like we’re always stuck between taking care of family and standing up for ourselves. There is always a constant struggle for power. They weren’t able to accomplish their goals, weren’t able to reach their potential so they assert their power, knowing well that your morals and values won’t allow you to disrespect or leave them to suffer. Again I ask, why is it our responsibility to stall our success, our happiness, to take care of those who threw away their opportunities and potential?
We need to choose who we help.
Every success is attached to an age range, forced on us by society. You have to complete college in 4 years, you have to be 21 by the time you’re done, and if you did everything right, you’ll have a job by the end of it. Only this is far from the truth, considering there are a multitude of factors that can affect the direction your life takes. Not only that but if you’re a woman who wants to have a family, things become significantly more difficult. Ideally, for the mother and the baby, a women should have a child before age 40. This means if you’re into the concept of marriage, you practically have an itinerary set out for you.
The time you have to attain your career, find the love of your life, save money for a wedding, get married, and decide to have children….
Who the hell has their life so figured out they can have all this?! I’m a college graduate, still figuring out my passion, and I can’t help but feel like while I’m doing all this figuring out, time is ticking and I’m falling behind my peers who have known their ultimate goal in life since they started HS…
I’m not making excuses, I’m not whining, I’m just pointing out that fact that society and even our own families hold us up to a standard that for some is just unattainable.
Time is flexible, whether we choose to believe it or not.
I’m often at work, so whenever I have a brilliant writing idea I can’t stop in my tracks and write it down. Therefore, I’ve recently taken to writing snippets of it in my journal, a post-it, or any piece of paper I can find. Unfortunately, by the time I can sit down and expand on that idea, the emotion behind it is gone. You see emotion is about 80% of my writing. If I’m not emotional about an idea or topic, then it becomes very difficult to write about it.
With that said, I plan to fully write out my thoughts where ever I am. Hopefully, I don’t get myself fired in the process…
Ultimately, I’d like to create an environment where behavioral therapy is combined with writing and mentorship. In this area youth will learn to dream bigger, will develop skills to get there, and will turn their dire situations into their motivation to move forward. I’m not quite sure how I will go about doing this but I do believe graduate school will be a step to get there.
I think everyday I come up with new goals for myself and for those around me.
It seems like I’m getting closer to realizing my purpose here on earth.
Let whatever you do today be enough. Let go of the judgement you have about what you should be or could be doing, and today, allow yourself to simply be. Comparing yourself and your journey may be habitual, but it gets you nowhere. It makes you feel worse and it keeps you stuck. So stop fixating on where everyone else is, and start giving yourself permission to be exactly where you are. Quiet the voice telling you to do more and be more, and trust that in this moment, who you are, where you are at, and what you are doing is enough. You will get to where you need to be in your own time. Until then, breathe. Breathe and be patient with yourself and your process. You are doing the best you can to cope and survive amid your struggles, and that’s all you can ask of yourself. It’s enough. You are enough.
I have no patience for anybody that doubts me. None, at all. It’s too hard out here. You know what I’m sayin. If my people don’t stand up for me, who is? I understand these white folks looking at me like that, cause they don’t know me. They didn’t hear Keep Ya Head Up. That ain’t no fluke. Keep Ya Head Up ain’t no goddamn come up. I didn’t do that for bitches to be smiling in my face to say ‘oh, he’s cool.’ I did that from my heart. So if they do try to put a rape charge on me, my sisters can say he ain’t ‘bout that. Now if my sisters can’t say that, you won’t hear another muthafuckin Keep Ya Head Up out my mouth.
“Lost love is still love. It takes a different form, that’s all. You can’t see their smile or bring them food or tousle their hair or move them around a dance floor. But when those senses weaken another heightens. Memory. Memory becomes your partner. You nurture it. You hold it. You dance with it.”
― Mitch Albom
Lo besé con fuerza. Las pocas personas que había en aquel bar debieron de mirarnos y pensar que aquello no era más que un beso. No sabían que en ese minuto de beso estaba el resumen de mi vida, de su vida, de la vida de cualquier persona que espera, sueña y busca su camino bajo el sol.
En aquel minuto de beso estaban todos los momentos de alegría que había vivido.
there have been so many times
i have seen a man wanting to weep
but
instead
beat his heart until it was unconscious.
PREAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (via sonofbaldwin)
A woman is not written in braille, you don’t have to touch her to know her.
Learn the difference between a man who flatters you and a man who compliments you. A man who spends money on you and a man who invests in you. A man who views you as property and a man who views you properly. A man who lusts after you and a man who loves you.
Those who wish to sing, always find a song.
Walk with the wise and become wise,
for a companion of fools suffers harm.
I wish there were necklaces given to us at birth that were half of a unique shape and your soulmate wore the other half and they got warmer the closer together you were and colder the further away you were so you could go on this journey when you’re ready to find your other half so that you could be spared all the pain and heartbreak of being played with by those who don’t take dating as seriously as you do
Twitches.
In an ideal world, my room would be twice the size it is now, maybe a little bit bigger than that. It’d have two windows. Next to one I’d have a paint set prepared, so that on a rainy day, or when I’m really upset I would just mess around with colors, and let my mind wander.
When I have a place of my own, before I have any children, I will have one plant, preferably in the kitchen. I will water it every day, I’ll make sure it faces the right direction, so the sun can kiss each leaf and give it the nourishment it needs. I’ll speak to it gently, so the leaves can feel the warmth of my voice and rise up to get a closer listen…
I think it’ll be nice to have a beautiful flower to look at every day, and to know I had a hand in making it blossom.
