Questions

I ask myself the tough questions when no one is listening.

I wonder if things will end like they did the last time. I wonder whether I’ve become the bully in order to avoid being the victim. I wonder whether this is genuine, or I’ve just convinced myself it is. I wonder how long it will be before we crack. Before the truth reveals itself and everything crashes down on us. I wonder if this is it. If this is my version of hell. If in trying to avoid the mistakes of the models before me I’ve created a hell that is the complete opposite, but just as painful.

I wonder how I’ve manged to manipulate my thoughts into thinking everything was all good.