People eat meat and think they will become as strong as an ox, forgetting that the ox eats grass.
Pino Caruso (via elige)
When I say, ‘I love you,’ it’s not because I want you or because I can’t have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I’ve seen your kindness and your strength. I’ve seen the best and the worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. You’re a hell of a person.
Joss Whedon (via brokenpromisesanddbrokenhearts)
It is very nearly impossible… to become an educated person in a country so distrustful of the independent mind.
James Baldwin (via howtobeterrell)
I will never tell my children that if a boy picks on them it means he likes them. I will teach my children that “Anyone who cares about you or loves you would never dream of hurting you. They would want to protect and nurture you.” End rape culture, stop nurturing abusive relationships, by teaching your kids differently.
This.
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Gordon Parks, Dr. Kenneth B. Clark conducting the Doll Test, Harlem, New York, 1947
In the “doll test,” psychologists Kenneth and Mamie Clark used four plastic, diaper-clad dolls, identical except for color. They showed the dolls to black children between the ages of three and seven and asked them questions to determine racial perception and preference. Almost all of the children readily identified the race of the dolls. However, when asked which they preferred, the majority selected the white doll and attributed positive characteristics to it. The Clarks also gave the children outline drawings of a boy and girl and asked them to color the figures the same color as themselves. Many of the children with dark complexions colored the figures with a white or yellow crayon. The Clarks concluded that “prejudice, discrimination, and segregation” caused black children to develop a sense of inferiority and self-hatred. This photograph was taken by Gordon Parks for a 1947 issue of Ebony magazine. (via)
You want to know what is exceptionally fucked up?
The same study was replicated in 2008. Dark-skinned children still by far selected the white doll. Repeatedly. [youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MqSFqnUFOns]
The Man With The Ring
As I rode the train home today, I noticed a pretty average guy. He was no different from the other passengers, except for one minor detail. He was wearing a ring. From the design I knew immediately it was a class ring, and judging by his age I guessed it was a college ring. With that simple observation I was hooked. I wanted to know his name, what college he went to, what he studied…not because I wanted to pursue him, but because it was incredibly appealing to see someone who valued education enough to get a college degree.
I wish HS kids could find this quality as appealing as they find swag to be.
Wrong Profession
Currently I’m studying Psychology, and Child and Adolescent Mental Health Studies. I find it fascinating how certain mental disorders come to be, are passed down, and the various ways they are manifested. Unfortunately, I know quite a few people with a mental health issue, and based on stats and what I’ve seen, I know their battles with it will be long and hard. And it’s incredibly painful to watch.
When I was younger I used to think they were over reacting, or that it was just a phase but I’ve seen the toll its taken on their lives. I’ve actually thought about the possibility of them doing something drastic, and it’s terrifying. It’s terrifying to think that no matter what you do there is nothing that can make it go away immediately. No magic pill or shot they can take…it’s just something they have to ride out.
These people are, or at some point were, my best friend, so of course I have an emotional attachment to their situation. However, I often wonder if I will be able to distance myself from my clients and do my job when the time comes? Will I be able to deal with overwhelming sadness on a daily basis and still manage to keep my personal life in check…
I really hope so, I want to.
I once dated a writer
Writers are forgetful,
but they remember everything.
They forget appointments and anniversaries,
but remember what you wore,
how you smelled,
on your first date…
They remember every story you’ve ever told them -
like ever,
but forget what you’ve just said.
They don’t remember to water the plants
or take out the trash,
but they don’t forget how
to make you laugh.Writers are forgetful
because
they’re busy
remembering
the important things.
Latinos & Mixed Values
Appearances matter a lot more than they ought to. A significant other will first be judged on their appearance, and then on their education, aspirations, personality, and loyalty. Marriage is not so much a companionship, as it is economic security. And tradition, no matter how ignorant and irrational, is always followed.
What irks me more than this though, is the constant romantic advice thrown at me by people who have failed/deteriorating marriages. People who have only been in unstable, often problematic relationships, that think marrying a white upper middle class man is the only way to be happily married, and be with satisfied life.
I have a whole different idea of happiness and success, and it doesn’t rely on a man’s socioeconomic status. I am so done with the over abundance of sexism in this culture, and the stupidity I witness on a day to day basis. The next time someone offers me a suggestion about my relationship, I’m going to hand them a mirror, and ask if they are truly happy. Because I really shouldn’t be following their footsteps if all it’s gotten them is bitterness and regret.
Don’t settle for someone who doesn’t give you things to say. Forever is a long time to make small talk.
I Wrote This For You (via eedyeh)
The Black Elite: A letter in response to the "F" grade and potential closure of De Witt Clinton High School in The Bronx, NY
[This letter was read out loud by the chair of the People Power Movement, a NY-based organization of which I am a member, at a public hearing following DWC’s receipt of a “F” grade.]
Greetings and peace,
My name is J.E. (me) and I am an alum from the Macy…
Feminists: Hey. We'd like for women to be treated as equals.Society: Oh sure. You want "equality" but then you expect men to open the door and pay for meals, is that it? That's not equality! That's special treatment! Feminists: Um, no not really. You don't have to open the door and pay for our meals. We can do that ourselves. Society: *gasp* What? You don't want men to open doors for you? Why do you hate nice people? No wonder chivalry is dead! You'd yell at a man for just being polite and opening the door for you? Feminists: No! We're just saying you don't have to do it just because we're women! Society: And while we're at it, how come you don't protect male victims of abuse and rape, huh? Feminists: Actually, we think it's really terrible that men are forced to stay quiet about their abuse because they're worried about not being taken seriously. It's this Alpha Male myth that causes it. Men are abused and raped and they're not helped because men are supposed to be tough and able to handle it. This also goes for men not being able to express emotions. Society: Oh, so you just want men to be a bunch of pansies then, huh? You hate men for wanting to be strong LIKE NATURE INTENDED THEM TO BE. You'll be sorry when you end up married to some weak, simpering fool who likes to talk about his "feelings"! Society: Also, you can't have equal rights because women aren't aggressive enough to want higher pay and stuff. Feminists: HOW ABOUT YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF AND THE HORSE YOU RODE IN ON? Society: Jesus, calm down. No need to be so aggressive.
El Mejor Ejemplo
She’s the strongest, most confident woman I know. Her life has been filled with various obstacles, uncertainties, and virtually no support. However, when things became too difficult to bear she made some moves. She didn’t know what her future held, had small children to care for, but none of that stopped her. She left and never looked back. She worked hard to give herself and her children the life they deserved, and she did it all with only a 2nd grade education. There is no one else on this Earth I respect more.
Unfortunately in the past couple years I’ve seen old age affect her. She can’t do certain things on her own, she can’t live on her own. Assistance is forced on her, and she absolutely detests it. No one understands why she’s so bent on being on her own, except me. Everyone just thinks she’s being difficult and looking to cause trouble. However, all she wants is control over her life. She wants to continue making her own decisions, and doings things for herself like she used to. She takes pride in being independent.
It’s painful to see her caged up. If I could, I’d get her her own place.
I’ve told her how much she means to me, and how much I respect her decisions. But something tells me she doesn’t know the extent of my admiration. I don’t think she knows that I strive to have her confidence and strong will.
I just hope I can prove to her how strong I am. Show her, that her presence in my life has had a huge impact on me.
[gallery]
THIS IS MARRIAGE!!
Thats right!
Permission to be a bad ass. Nod.
He looks back at the guy like, “SEE THAT? SHE SAID YES. YOU’RE SO FUCKED.”
Like, guys. Sparta was so kick ASS sometimes when it came to women. Spartan women were given these small knives so that if their husbands came home and tried to hit them or assault them, they had a weapon within reach. That weapon was for CUTTING THEIR HUSBANDS’ FUCKING FACES so that when he went out in public everyone would know he was an asshole, abusing jerkface and they would publicly shame him.
I DID NOT KNOW THAT THAT IS GREAT
LET’S JUST TALK ABOUT SPARTAN WOMEN FOR A SECOND.
In Sparta, women could own land and were considered citizens. THAT IS A HUGE BIG FUCKING DEAL. Why? Because that was RARE AS FUCK and there are lots of places TODAY where women don’t even get that much.
Divorce was totally fine, and a woman could expect to keep her own wealth and get custody of the kids because paternal lineage wasn’t very important. And it didn’t make her a pariah! She could totally remarry, no big deal at all.
Spartan women participated in some fuckin’ badass sporting events, too. And because they were expected to be as physically fit as the Spartan menfolk (who all had to serve compulsory military duties, btw, and couldn’t marry until they finished them at thirty) they didn’t have time for lots of swishy dresses. So they wore notoriously short skirts. According to some accounts, their thighs were visible at all times. HOLY SHIT.
Also, In Sparta men only got their names on their graves if they died in battle. And women? Women only got their names on their graves if they died in childbirth. THE SPARTANS COMPARED CHILDBIRTH TO FUCKING BATTLE AND IT WAS VIEWED AS A GODDAMN BADASS AND HONORABLE WAY TO GO OUT.
FUCKING SPARTAN WOMEN. THIS DUDE HAD FUCKIN’ BETTER MAKE SURE SHE’S COOL WITH WHATEVER HE’S DOING, IF HE KNOWS WHAT’S FUCKIN’ GOOD FOR HIM.
Thank you, Women in Western Culture class, for teaching me all of this.
we should write a book
Sparta, And Other Reasons “Tradtional Gender Roles” Are Bullshit
Happy Happiness is Spreading
Can’t say it wasn’t a little daunting at first. To think one thing, ruminate on the possibilities, and then in one second have it demolished with no possibility of it being repaired…Of course it was a bit painful seeing it all unfold in front of me, despite what was happening on my end. It wasn’t jealousy, it was more like mourning. I was mourning a lost opportunity. Sure there’s a good chance it would have been short lived but I still lost it, and it was completely my fault. But it was a wake up call. I can’t continue to think life will wait until I finish daydreaming to make a decision. If I don’t act immediately, things will change and I’ll lose my opportunity forever. At this point no one is playing games anymore.
However, if I look at things objectively, I can say that I’m happy things turned out the way they did.
Everyone is happy, and where they should be.
And if I take the time to think about the situation closely, which I have, I can honestly say I learned a few things. For one, things really do tend to fall into place. Maybe not in the way you planned, and always wished for, but certainly in a way that works.