I Did Everything Right

Humans of New York published a story about a woman who witnessed her friend die. She stepped away for a few minutes, and returned to see her friend face down at the bottom of her pool. She goes on to explain how much she prayed while the ambulance was on it's way. She explained how close she'd been feeling to God lately. Explained all the things she'd been doing to strengthen her faith and her relationship with God. She was hoping her friend would live and this would be part of her testimony.

He didn't make it.

Now she wakes up and says Thank You, but her relationship with God is strained.

I recall a friend asking me, what kind of God allows children to be murdered? I didn't have an answer for her.

What I did have were examples of overwhelming faith. People who had every reason to give up, to decide this life just wasn't for them. People who have gone through gut wrenching tragedies but still managed to keep going, to stand tall. They attributed their strength, their peace in the mist of chaos, to their faith.

What I know now and what I choose to believe is that God is not a puppeteer. He is not manipulating events to create a Utopia for His followers. We pray, but this isn't Burger King, we don't get to have it our way just because we ask. He answers our prayers because of grace. There's no correlation to our actions, past or present.

I continue to believe because I'm aware that believing in God, is what has allowed me to make peace with a lot of my experiences, and anxieties.

So to this young woman I say, continue saying Thank You. I wish you peace, and I hope one day you can reconcile your heart and your mind in regards to your faith and this experience.