Explore other Perspectives

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I firmly believe that any experience no matter how small has the power to drastically change your perspective on life. I change my opinions and outlook on things quickly if given a good enough reason/justification and sometimes just because. And while this seems entirely normal and reasonable for me it isn’t the case for the majority of the people I hang out with.

I often find myself trying to prove what I’m feeling, and it angers me that I have to do this with people who know me well. They create this template for me and stick to it no matter what happens. If I was bitter and angry for a month then to them I can’t have a good day. It would be odd for me to suddenly be happy one day for no particular reason at all. But that happens ALL the time.

I wake up and without any cause just decide that I don’t want to be upset anymore and that even if it’s for 24 hours I’m going to be happy. But then I spend the day with people telling me “o you’ll be back to yourself tomorrow” or “you know you’re angry, you’re just hiding it well today”…the fuck! Are you kidding me? Why is the reason behind it important? Why is the duration important? I’m happy right now nothing besides that should matter. Let me enjoy it even if it’s for today…even if it’s for an HOUR! It’s my moment. Why would you want to ruin that?

It drives me crazy because I know I’ve discovered a lot about myself in the past couple weeks and I’ve changed in a lot of important ways. And it may not be huge changes but they matter a lot to me. Yet, when I go back home I’m going to have people remind me of who I was prior to this trip, and I know for a fact I will hear the phrase “well you’re in NY now so, things are different.” No shit…If you haven’t bothered to keep in touch with me, and you have no idea what’s been going on with me then you really need to mind your own business and let me be. Maybe I don’t want to be who I was a few days ago. Maybe I didn’t see this as a small vacation, maybe I saw this as a life changing experience…

I love my friends, I truly do but sometimes they can be so damn oblivious and narrow minded that I wonder why I even bother.