To my fellow cowards

I had a deep rooted hatred for players. Although I’ve never been cheated on, I know quite a few men that do it and I know plenty of women who deal with it. Some of the women just got up and left. They didn’t say a word, just removed themselves from the situation and moved on. Others got out of the relationship but had to physically, verbally, and/or emotionally fight. And then there were some that just dealt with it, and continue to deal with it. They say “I’m too old to care now” or “at the end of the day he’s coming home to me” and in some way that makes them cope.

Having seen all of this I knew I’d never stay with a man that was unfaithful, nor would I give him a second chance. Over the years this has changed a bit and I’ve gotten lenient. It wasn’t until yesterday that I realized why.

A friend of mine for the first time in his life had 2 girlfriends. As opposed to having one girlfriend and then having his fun on the side, which is just as bad. One of the ladies he’s been with for years the other only for a month or so. Because of financial (not ethical) difficulties he knew he had to choose one and wanted my advice on it. I was advocating for the girl he’s been with for several years that has ALWAYS supported him. I gave my reasons, and then he started talking about her and why she wasn’t the obvious pick. I’ve never heard a guy express his affection for a girl like he did. It was hard to believe this guy had eyes for anyone else. What really shocked me was when he said “I haven’t told her I loved her, but she’s told me a couple times, and that shit scares me.” Unfortunately commitment and a few other petty things were what kept him on edge.

Now that is NOT in any way a reason to cheat. Nothing is. And it in no way justifies what he’s doing. It’s not fair to either of the girls, and I’m slightly disgusted that I know about this situation. HOWEVER, I did feel a bit of sympathy for him.

Fear can really cloud your judgment. It can make you hurt people in ways you didn’t think you were capable of. It’s all very selfish. You don’t want to face your fear so you just let the other person deal with the pain.

You don’t have all the details so unfortunately you can’t understand the way I want you to. And if you’re a female reading this you probably think I’m stupid or naive. I can’t blame you but I promise I’m not crazy. Basically he’s still a dick for what he’s doing. It’s still wrong, there’s no reason for cheating. And it’s unfair to the other people involved.

But coming from someone who has let fear get in the way of an incredibly good thing I kind of understand why. And I feel a sense of pity for the man that can’t realize the greatness they are letting slip by every time they beat.

So to my fellow cowards, whatever situation you may be in, I hope you get it together. Move past the fear…it’s worth it.

Hope this made sense…