Don't Care

People always say they don’t care what others think about them. Well I don’t know how they do it, because I definitely care about what others think about me. My actions don’t only affect me. If I’m seen in a bad light, so are my parents, and the people I spend time with. I over analyze everything I do because I don’t want people talking behind my back because I slipped up. If they have nothing better to do than I couldn’t care less, but if the gossip is brought about by something I said then it’s serious.

I have this heart wrenching feeling that my constant concern for other people’s feelings and thoughts will forever hold me back. I think I can muster up enough courage to defy someone I’m not related to, but its nearly impossible to do it to my parents. As unreasonable as I may find them I can’t just go against what they say…at least not in a significant way. Respect is huge for them, and I’m not trying to overstep my boundaries. I suppose I’m still trying to find that balance of being an emerging adult and still living under their rules. It’s difficult to compromise and not feel like you want to grow up too fast and being completely unreasonable.

It hurts to hurt them…regardless of the situation.