Why being a girl isn't working out for me:

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Body: Oh, guess what time of the month it is!Me: Please, god, no-- Ovaries: ALL SYSTEMS GOOOOOOOO!!! Brain: I quit. i quit. kittens and cupcakes and no one loves me. oh my god salty snacks i am furious Me: Please, guys, calm down-- Face: TIME TO RUIN EVERYTHING YOU HAVE EVER LIKED ABOUT ME. I'M GROWING MOUNTAINS, BITCHES. Brain: And now I'm ugly! shbdksdnksbn Torso: Time to practice labor. cramp this bitch up. GO GO GO GO GO GO Me: STOP IT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! Stomach: lol clothes cant fit you anymore. you are bloated. you are now a balloooooooon! Me: I hate you all Brain: I KNOW EVERYONE HATES ME I AM SO DEPRESSED. we need to procreate. Face: Lol, i'm not done yet. Uterus: what did i ever do to deserve this? Brain: you just wait uterus. they're going to make you hold a baby for like 9 months straight. Uterus: You mother fuckers. Torso: CONTRACT! Me: I quit being female, I am now a llama. Brain: Me gusta.