Unclear Future

Today I spoke with one of my peers from my education class. I told her I was doubting whether I wanted to be a teacher. She told me she felt the same way. Apparently we both decided to be education majors because Creative Writing isn’t a major in our school.

Now I’m incredibly interested in all my classes. I love children, and I love teaching. Education is something I’ve always been interested in. Unfortunately it’s not my passion. I don’t wake up every morning thinking about it, despite the 7 classes I’m taking on it and the student teaching I do twice a week. In fact I don’t even know if I really have a passion. I love to write and I rather major in that, but I don’t want to write for a living. It would take all the fun out of it. The reason I love it so much is because it’s a way of removing myself from all my complications and responsibilities. To use it as a means of paying my rent and bills is just…wrong.

I understand my bachelors isn’t going to be my last degree, and plenty of people are still trying to figure out what to do with themselves. However, I wish I had something to look forward to. Some sort of goal or ideal, because right now I’m just kind of going through the motions and hoping things work out eventually. I like order, and this sudden revelation has got me not only on edge but terribly worried.

Is this an identity crisis?