Confrontations

These last couple of days have been rather interesting for me.

At work I was in the middle of a peculiar fight for power. It was slightly amusing, but incredibly uncomfortable. I related the event to a close friend and was asked why I didn’t stand up for myself?

My answer to that very logical question is that I don’t like confrontation. I will speak up in certain situations but if I see things can get out of hand, I’ll bite my tongue and keep it moving. I really don’t like arguments and I’ll admit I’ll let a lot of things pass before I confront you.

After that I was given a sarcastic comment by one of my professors. It was a small statement and I’m sure noone else would take it the way I did. However, the way I saw it, it overflowed with sarcasm and implied I was incapable of communicating my needs. Definitely unnecessary, considering I’ve only seen this woman twice the entire semester.

Then today my mother tells me how my dad thinks I’m being ungrateful and have an attitude problem whenever he tries to give me a driving lesson. The one time I do stand up for myself because I believe I’m right, I’m told I have an attitude problem. And in addition to that I need to calm down because apparently I’m a little tense…

Not speaking up is definitely a problem. I should learn to make my opinion known more often. When I do speak up, I’m rude and have an attitude problem. So I obviously need to choose my words and tone more carefully. Apparently there is some middle ground that I’m completely missing.

I’d like to think I choose my battles differently than others. But that may be my way of convincing myself I’m not a wimp.