Withdrawl

Recently I’ve been searching for a quick fix. Something to hold me over, something to latch on to. Something to calm my nerves. To help me get my mind off this, and focus on the important things in life. But I haven’t found anything yet. I know what I thought was my solution was a terrible idea, a terrible way to find my peace. But I entertained it because I figured I deserved some satisfaction.

However, I just saw an image that made me realize that’s not the satisfaction I need…well maybe a little bit. But in reality what I need is innocence, I need an act of purity that will soothe my urges and help me relax into a warm, steady heartbeat. Something that will help me settle into a rhythm that will put me into some sort of trance that will eventually cause my body and mind to reboot.

I’m not built for the chase, my stamina just isn’t up to par. I like to be direct, because the longer I wait the more my anxiety builds up, and when that happens I’m no longer myself. I start to get desperate and I slip into this generic version of me that will never be enough because it doesn’t have that thing…the it. That special something that gives you an irresistible glow. A glow so precise, so luminous, it will cause one specific person to lose their control long enough to say hello.