in

[gallery]

vaterorlaag:

fuckyeahcracker:

youngblackandvegan:

thechanelmuse:

Vanessa VanDyke has amazing hair. Point blank. But it’s her hair that may cause her to get expelled from school. Faith Christian Academy in Orlando told the 12-year-old that she has a week to decide if she’s going to cut her hair, straighten it, or get kicked out.

Vanessa has attended Faith Christian Academy since she was in the third grade, but the school’s s code has rules against how students can wear their hair. The handbook reads: “Hair must be a natural color and must not be a distraction,” and goes on to state examples that include, but are not limited to, mohawks, shaved designs and rat tails.

The distraction that the school is probably referring to when it speaks of Vanessa’s hair has to do with bullying and teasing.

From Local 10 News Orlando:

“A distraction to one person is not a distraction to another,” said VanDyke’s mother, Sabrina Kent. “You can have a kid come in with pimples on his face. Are you going to call that a distraction?”

VanDyke said she’s had her large, natural hair all year long, but it only became an issue after the family complained about students teasing her about her hair.

“There have been bullies in the school,” said Kent. “There have been people teasing her about her hair, and it seems to me that they’re blaming her.”

“I’m depressed about leaving my friends and people that I’ve known for a while, but I’d rather have that than the principals and administrators picking on me and saying that I should change my hair,” said VanDyke.

So instead of Faith Christian Academy doing something about the bullies, they’re going to reprimand a 12-year-old because of her hair?

“I’m going to fight for my daughter,” Kent said. “If she wants her hair like that, she will keep her hair like that. There are people out there who may think that natural hair is not appropriate. She is beautiful the way she is.”

Source

it’s hard enough for black girls to feel beautiful without those in authority sending the message that their hair is unacceptable. this story is disgusting and unfortunately not the first or last case. it’s a damn shame that every part of a black girl’s body is politicized,  at all ages

The way her hair grows out of her head is deemed a “hairstyle” to the news. Incredible.

She is beautiful and this school is full of racist bullshit. 

in

northstarbrooks:

gradientlair:

12 year old Vanessa VanDyke is being threatened with expulsion from Faith Christian Academy in Orlando unless she cuts her natural hair. Hair growing the way it does out of her head is considered a “distraction” by administrators. Yet another young Black girl forced to deal with the beauty politics and the politics of respectability that insist that not being White or adhering to those standards are an automatic detriment to education. Worse, she’s attended this school since 3rd grade and doesn’t want to have to leave her friends though she has been bullied by other kids for her hair. The consistent policing of Black women’s bodies starts young and continues right through college and the workplace. It is tiring and without logic beyond White supremacy, of course.

According to Local 10 in Orlando, she wore her hair like this all year. It’s a problem now because she is being bullied, and in a typical abuse culture riddled with victim blaming, the bullies are who needs to be coddled and protected, not her. 

I truly hope that whomever is ignorant on that school’s staff work things out with her parents or she finds a better school, though that will mean making new friends, which is challenging in adolescence at times. My larger hope is that Eurocentric beauty standards continue to unravel and continue to be stomped out of existence.

And nothing is wrong with her wearing her hair loose. Sometimes even Black people who claim to love natural hair only love it when elaborately styled, and those styles are very nice, but not the only way to wear natural hair.

And no Whites, I don’t want to hear about “rules” and “professionalism” until you explore what White supremacy and Whiteness actually mean. And don’t even try to conflate Whites’ mohawks etc. with Black women’s natural hair in an ahistorical way. And no some Black people, I don’t want to hear about perms being more “appropriate” and any respectability politics nonsense, until you explore how you internalize White supremacist thinking. Don’t come here with that.

I wish her and her family the best in this situation.

well said…well said

Gaslighting

in

“Gas-lighting is a form of mental abuse in which false information is presented with the intent of making a victim doubt his or her own memory, perception and sanity. Instances may range simply from the denial by an abuser that previous abusive incidents ever occurred, up to the staging of bizarre events by the abuser with the intention of disorienting the victim.”

Recently I’ve been bombarded with examples of gas-lighting on a daily basis, and it’s really getting under my skin. I have witnessed the behavior of men who are INFAMOUS for gas lighting, lying, and manipulating their partners into forgiveness, forgetfulness, or taking on each single responsibility of the household/relationship under the pretense that THEY [the men] are working too hard to be bothered, or have in some indirect way done their part to deserve rest.

I have seen each one of my 3 sisters, my mother and quite a few friends become victims of the psychological bull these kind of men like to pull. These men like to live under the male chauvinist impression that women ought to do 90% of the work, yet have very little, if any, power.

It makes my blood boil to see hard working, intelligent, kind women bend over backwards for a man that has absolutely no respect/consideration for them, and only has the ability to talk a good game. A game good enough to make their wives/girlfriends feel like they are the CRAZY ones, like they are overreacting, or misinterpreting the situation. These men like to make women feel like there’s something of value there, like there’s a possibility of change, or even a smidgen of guilt on their part, or quite simply they just aren’t doing anything wrong. I call BULL SHIT!

If any of those things were remotely true there wouldn’t be an unbalance of power and respect. At the very least they would understand how cynical they are, and wouldn’t deny, deceive, and plot to take full advantage of a woman they supposedly love. Women need to wake UP! If you’re part of their sick game, then you need to hit reset and get the hell out.

I’m only 22 years old, and I haven’t been in many relationships so no I don’t know first hand what it feels like to get so deep into such a toxic relationship. But I have spent the last 22 years seeing what men like this can do to a woman, to a family. I have seen how they rationalize things, I have seen what 25 years of this crap can do to someone.

So what I can tell you is, it doesn’t get better, they don’t change, and their children follow in their footsteps. Not only that but the behaviors are contagious, and soon enough you’ll notice little boys rising like a damn army against you. You’ll notice your own light dimming, and whatever you consider to be fighting back is only adding to the problem. Your entire way of rationalizing things gets unraveled. 

I can’t choose my family, I have to deal with their personalities and fucked up point of views. But I’ll be damned if I CHOOSE to be in, or stay in, a relationship with someone like that.

It is not just, sensible, nor rational for a woman to go through her life trying to make something of her self, trying to build herself up, to then marry a man that will stop at nothing to bring her down to her knees.

We were born to be better than that.

What's Really Going On When Men Call Women 'Crazy'

in

I did have a few breakups I would qualify with, “I don’t mean ‘I can’t be bothered to figure out where things went wrong, I mean that she was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder,” but for the most part, “crazy” meant “acting in a way I didn’t like.” I didn’t realize just how damaging this attitude was in the way I related to women.

What's Really Going On When Men Call Women 'Crazy'

in

You might be sitting with him at the kitchen table drinking coffee from mismatched mugs and saying nothing because sometimes saying nothing is the best thing to say. He’s miles away, and you’re thinking you should take a shower or fix your hair or at least brush your teeth because you feel dirty and self-conscious. You wish the sun weren’t so bright on your face and you wish there was something other than corn flakes for breakfast so your stomach won’t start making hideous noises. You’re about to open your mouth and say something to break the silence, but he speaks first. He tilts his head slightly and says:

“You make me really happy.”

And you will agree he does, too.

Carrie Laski, Things To Say Besides I Love You (via thelittleyellowdiary)
in

Try to imagine a life without timekeeping. You probably can’t. You know the month, the year, the day of the week. There is a clock on your wall or the dashboard of your car. You have a schedule, a calendar, a time for dinner or a movie. Yet all around you, timekeeping is ignored. Birds are not late. A dog does not check its watch. Deer do not fret over passing birthdays. Man alone measures time. Man alone chimes the hour. And, because of this, man alone suffers a paralyzing fear that no other creature endures. A fear of time running out.

 Mitch Albom, The Time Keeper. (via wholelottaquotes)
in

While the astronauts, heroes forever, spent mere hours on the moon, I have remained in this new world for nearly thirty years. I know that my achievement is quite ordinary. I am not the only man to seek his fortune far from home, and certainly I am not the first. Still, there are times I am bewildered by each mile I have traveled, each meal I have eaten, each person I have known, each room in which I have slept. As ordinary as it all appears, there are times when it is beyond my imagination.

Jhumpa Lahiri, Interpreter of Maladies (via bookmania)
in

Dicen que a lo largo de nuestra vida tenemos dos grandes amores; uno con el que te casas o vives para siempre, puede que el padre o la madre de tus hijos… Esa persona con la que consigues la compenetración máxima para estar el resto de tu vida con ella… Y dicen que hay un segundo gran amor, una persona que perderás para siempre. Alguien con quien naciste conectado, tan conectado, que las fuerzas de la química escapan de la razón y les impedirán siempre alcanzar un final feliz. Hasta que cierto día dejaras de intentarlo, te rendirás y buscarás a esa otra persona que acabarás encontrando. Pero te aseguro que no pasarás una sola noche, sin necesitar otro beso suyo, o tan siquiera discutir una vez mas. Todos saben de qué estoy hablando, porque mientras están leyendo estas líneas, se les ha venido su nombre a la cabeza… Te librarás de él o de ella y dejarás de sufrir, conseguirás encontrar la paz (la sustituirás por la calma) pero te aseguro que no pasará ni un día en que no desees que este aquí para perturbarte. Porque a veces se desprende más energía discutiendo con alguien que amas, que haciendo el amor con alguien a quien aprecias.

Paulo Coelho. (via tristecosanoteneramigos)

Fireworks aren't meant to burn forever.

in

The times I’ve felt fireworks between me and someone else it’s been momentary, lasting but a few seconds maybe minutes.

The times they lasted longer were just my misinterpretation of obsession or lust. I fell for a guy so hard every part of my day revolved around him. I was prepared to change quite a few things to have his attention. If he so much as glanced in my direction my day was made. Every moment I walked by him was filled with anxiety and excitement. I didn’t know what to do with myself. However, all signs pointed to his disinterest, yet I paid them no mind. I was over eager, and completely blind to reality.

It wasn’t long before it was unmistakably clear his sights had been set on someone else. What I thought were fireworks were needles trying to shock me back to the real world.

This wasn’t the first time I obsessed over someone, but it sure was the last. I’m not going through that again. There’s something unhealthy about that kind of behavior, even if it’s mutual. There should be moments of normalcy, nothing too high nor too low. There should be a balance.

If you’re experiencing an all time high all the time, you might be holding that person on a pedestal they don’t deserve, and digging a grave for yourself.

Give the fireworks a time limit.

Solitude

in

“Hell is other people at breakfast”

I read that quote today and it made perfect sense. It symbolized feelings I’ve been having for quite some time now.

I have always craved solitude.

It’s calming, comforting, inspiring…it allows me to create space between me and my issues or responsibilities, and see them in a different light. It allows me to take all my aggression, and transform it into something much more soothing, something I can make sense of.

Solitude allows me to make sense of time, to make sense of myself, and to create a plan for the moments that follow. When I wake up I like to do it alone and gradually add people to my experience. I like to come home and work my way into a conversation, I like to have time to unwind and gather my thoughts before I’m asked questions, before I’m encouraged to share all the intricacies of my day.

I enjoy being alone, it’s how I heal, how I rejuvenate.

in

[gallery]

sinuousmag:

“American Royalty” by Sam Spratt commissioned by Childish Gambino

Sam Spratt’s commissioned illustrations for actor/rapper Donald Glover aka Childish Gambino.

“What began as cover art for his mixtape ‘Royalty’ evolved into a series of Rockwell-esque vignettes on Americana meant to highlight the side of hip-hop that tends to take a back seat to “money, cars, and jewelry” – where you come from.

The collection of 10 illustrations cover a wide-spectrum of the little moments – the struggles, the simple pleasures, the risks, the irony, the humor, the hopes, and the realities of the American life that maybe isn’t quite so cookie cutter.” Prints available at royalty.samspratt.com.

in

thethreeamrants:


maytheangelsprotectyou:

I have only heard the story behind this picture once, but it literally brought tears to my eyes. On September 11, 2001, a hijacked plane knifed into the side of the Pentagon. We all know that. What very few people have heard is shortly afterwards, the director of a nursery in the building stood looking at the children in her charge, wondering how to move all of the babies and toddlers to safety.

A marine rushed into the room and asked if she was alright. She needed help and she told him that. He turned and ran out; the woman assumed that he had gone away for good. As she formulated a plan of action, she heard footsteps in the hall.

The man had returned—this time, though, he was not alone. At least forty other Marines followed him. They picked up the babies in their cribs, the toddlers, the helpless infants. They carried them through the halls and to a nearby park, where they arranged the cribs in a circle and set the toddlers in the middle. Then they stood guard outside, never allowing the children to be unattended.

When I first saw this picture, I thought that the man carrying the children was their father. Now I realize that he was not related to them by blood, but by nationality. He is an American. They are American children. He is not their father, he is their protector. He’s a United States Marine.