in

taintedexistence:

psyducked:

I wish there were necklaces given to us at birth that were half of a unique shape and your soulmate wore the other half and they got warmer the closer together you were and colder the further away you were so you could go on this journey when you’re ready to find your other half so that you could be spared all the pain and heartbreak of being played with by those who don’t take dating as seriously as you do

Twitches.

Flowers

in

When I have a place of my own, before I have any children, I will have one plant, preferably in the kitchen. I will water it every day, I’ll make sure it faces the right direction, so the sun can kiss each leaf and give it the nourishment it needs. I’ll speak to it gently, so the leaves can feel the warmth of my voice and rise up to get a closer listen…

I think it’ll be nice to have a beautiful flower to look at every day, and to know I had a hand in making it blossom.

Friends

in

There are certain people that shouldn’t be in your lives. Not because they are bad people but because they do not help you move forward. I’ve encountered people that are genuinely good, but somehow manage to continuously stunt my academic/spiritual growth. I think those people should be kept at a distance. If they don’t understand your mission, if they are standing in your way, if they are bringing you down then maybe new company is needed.

The Big IT

in

When I start a new chapter of my life, I tend to look deep in the future. I imagine where it will take me and how it will change me. My recent chapter has me thinking whether this is IT. And by IT I mean the one that sticks. Whether I’ll be with this person 10 years from now, whether this will be the beginning of the rest of my life. That’s a little heavy considering how long we’ve been together. But it’s been so easy to think that far ahead because everything fits. It makes sense. It’s what I want, and what I need.

Now this could end tomorrow, we could be thrown a curve ball that ruins everything. We can’t ever tell what life has around the corner. But for now I’m basking in the small possibility that this one aspect of my life is where it needs to be.

in

Sleeping next to someone,
not with someone, is perhaps
the most intimate you will
ever be with another human.
In sleep, we are completely
defenseless. We are soft
and supple and childlike.
Our hard exteriors falls away
when the sand hits our eyes.
The way you sleep, with your
face softened and your arms
wrapped around my waist,
is the most beautiful thing
I have ever seen. I am not an
artist, but I may become one
just so that I can capture that
moment.

I Miss Sleeping Next To You (via leviathanrose)
in

Marry your best friend. I do not say that lightly. Really, truly find the strongest, happiest friendship in the person you fall in love with. Someone who speaks highly of you. Someone you can laugh with. The kind of laughs that make your belly ache, and your nose snort. The embarrassing, earnest, healing kind of laughs. Wit is important. Life is too short not to love someone who lets you be a fool with them. Make sure they are somebody who lets you cry, too. Despair will come. Find someone that you want to be there with you through those times. Most importantly, marry the one that makes passion, love, and madness combine and course through you. A love that will never dilute - even when the waters get deep, and dark.

(via comingdownxo)

My Parents Hate Each Other

in

My siblings would disagree with me, but I couldn’t be more sure that my parents cannot stand each other. It’s not just old age, it’s not simply differing views. It’s complete lack of consideration, respect, and affection for each other. There’s a resentment, a spitefulness, a darkness to their relationship, that is at least to me, incredibly obvious. Despite not being bound legally, they have stayed together. Possibly for us, their children, as well as for financial reasons and conformity.

I’m sure many people would think I’m crazy for saying what I’m about to say, but sometimes I wish my parents divorced and lived in different homes. I would give up the nice house, the comfort and the luxury we live in now to have an actual home. Both of them together in one space doesn’t make a home, it makes for a toxic environment full of negativity and cynicism. Although the struggle to live day to day would be very real if they divorced, I feel as though their mental states would be much more healthy. They would be happier.

Happiness isn’t only possible in the traditional way. So yes, I wish my parents hadn’t stayed together for us, for the convenience, to save face, to accomplish their material dreams…I wish they divorced.

But there is one thing they have taught me about relationships, and that’s what NOT to do. And aside from life it’s been the best gift they have given me. I’ve only been in two relationships in my 21 years of life, I’m currently in one of them. And quite frankly they’ve lasted more, and have been much healthier than the relationships of my peers. I’m not trying to boast, I’m just saying that I’ve learned there are certain things that make a relationship work. There are certain standards that must be met no matter what, and both my relationships have followed that.

If I continue to have relationships like these I have no doubt that my romantic life will be filled with positivity.

So I’m sorry mom and dad that your marriage didn’t turn out to be what you probably hoped it’d be but it’s made me set my standards higher, and so far it’s worked out.

Not Worth It

in

I’m slowly starting to see where I want to go in life. I want to focus more on me. I love my family and friends but quite frankly the majority of them are looking out for themselves and only adding negativity to my life. Therefore, I’m going to start paving my own path. My considerations:

Refraining from any official responsibilities at church.

  • I love my church, I love being a deacon, I love having responsibilities, but I need a break. By the end of this year I will end my term in the things I’m currently involved in. In the mean time, I’m going to consider other forms of spiritual growth.

Focusing on the arts

  • At one point I was really into cross stitching, I’ve always wanted to learn how to knit, and I wanted to draw/paint. I think I deserve to spend this summer doing those things. So the minute I graduate I’m making sure I set aside time for that.

Reading…for fun

  • I have so many books sitting in my room that I’ve been dying to read, but haven’t had the time. I even have textbooks I want to read over because they were SO interesting. So I’m narrowing down my book list to about 6-10 books for this summer.

Education

  • I’ll be studying for the GRE, looking up grad programs, applying to grad programs, and applying to jobs/internships/programs that are in the fields I’m interested in. It’s time to choose a path for SURE!

Future Planning

  • Once I get a full time job, because I WILL get a full time job, I’ll start saving. I’m going to make a plan to save enough money to move out. I’ll be wasting away a good chunk of money on rent every month but when the people you live with start holding you back it’s time to go. So I’m going to save, create a time frame, go apartment hunting, and then just go.

Express

  • There’s a lot I don’t say for the sake of keeping the peace, and avoiding confrontation. But I realize people create conflicts, cause drama, and only think about themselves most of the time, so why should I bottle up my emotions. I think it’s about time I confronted my family about a few issues I’ve had on my mind, and just express my thoughts. I don’t expect it to end well but it has to happen at some point.

Relationship

  • I’m going to enjoy my relationship, we take for granted the simple things in life. This summer I want to start focusing on those things. Quality time will be top priority.

I’m determined…

Thanks for reading.